It was a beautiful stay back home in the Netherlands, grateful to share with friends and family. I am grateful as well that I had the opportunity to go back to feel the energies there, to connect with the land and also to be back for a moment in the Matrix…
To be honest the first one and a half weeks were difficult for me to ground; my body felt sensitive, my digestive system was upside down and my sleeping pattern was disturbed. My body and spirit needed to acclimatize more than I thought, it was very energetically demanding…
I have been living in Peru for four years and every time I go back to the Netherlands it feels different, which is interesting to observe, and I would love to share some of my experiences and insights.
First, a little bit more about me. I am aware that I am getting more and more open and sensitive; mainly through the work with Plant medicine, shamanic journeying, inner child and Reiki. My way of living in connection with Nature without a lot of stimulants and distractions from the outside world, the peaceful environment where my husband and I live, surrounded by mountains, and the retreat environment which is part of our home…
I am noticing that after four years I am finding stability, feeling the ground beneath my feet, finding my feet, and Peru feels more like home to me, where I can ground safely. During this period, however, the acclimatization process really took some time, and continues still…
Being In Process
I have been through some intense shedding skin phases and processes; going deeper and healing my past, accepting myself for who I am, accepting and finding a way to live with my sensitivity, giving attention to balancing the feminine and masculine energies in myself, working in an area outside the box: Plant medicine, creating a project from our hearts; starting from zero, integrating the role of being a wife and a mother figure for our project, the energies from the Netherlands; belief systems and conditionings which didn’t serve me anymore, integrating into a different culture, finding balance and exploring belief systems which resonate with me; above all connecting to my authentic self…
I’d like to share my last visit to the Netherlands, and invite you to see how it resonates, particularly for those who have gone back home after being in retreat with us here. It may also serve as support to your integration process.
What touched me the strongest on the surface were the energies in the vicinity of where I was staying and how they affect us, most of which we are not aware of and they can also affect us on a very subtle level.
Insight & Understanding
My process of acclimatization was challenging to begin with; some days I was very emotional, tears, crying out of the blue. I knew deeply that I was in a process, working through some deep layers, so I was compassionate to myself. I remember my mother was worried, and I tried to explain to her that I was feeling good, just working deeply on shedding layers which didn’t serve me anymore that were ready to be confronted and healed. After sharing with my Reiki and Inner Child teacher and my inner child, I began to make more sense of it. My inner child showed me that I was now learning what was hard for her and what was difficult for her to cope with on an energetic level in connection with the vicinity where she lived. I already had some awareness of this, however now I could understand them on a deeper level, on a level which goes beyond me… I received a deeper understanding of why she was depressed at such a young age; she couldn’t find her way in society, resulting in a burnout at 28, her sensitivity, her search for something she couldn’t find during that time….
I searched and healed for more than a decade which is woven into my personal life story and for which I am very grateful and has taught me a lot. And my attention is now shifting as well to the energies in my vicinity and how they are affecting me. They play a role in our well-being, however how aware of them are we?
After my visit to the Netherlands I feel I am becoming more and more aware of them. I am trying to find a way to accept them and to balance their influence, to observe them and not to take them so personally…
How I am integrating these teachings in my daily practice?
* To check in with myself consciously and to ask myself: what is this energy I feel, is it mine?
It’s a simple question yet sometimes difficult to integrate because we function in an automatic way; in our behavior and patterns. If the answer is yes, I look deeper and question where it comes from and I observe it and feel into it….
If the answer is no, I look to where it comes from, I let it go, I blow it away….
* To cleanse myself in the evenings before I go to bed; to take a bath or shower to cleanse energetically. A bath with vinegar and salt for example is good for cleansing energies, or a flower bath to recharge
* To be aware of what I let into my energy field; food, places, recreational substances just like alcohol etc.
* Daily spiritual practice; giving time and attention to myself and to connect with Spirit. Through drumming, singing, exercise, smoking my Pipe, chewing Coca leafs, meditation, Reiki, shamanic journeying and sharing with my Inner Child, journaling and working with gratitude and intention
* Being in nature; just being, hiking, exercise, practicing my daily spiritual practice and having alone time to recharge
* Being aware of and working consciously with my internal Moon (menstruation cycle); likening my menstruation cycle to the 4 seasons and to Mother Moon phases, journaling during these phases, more rest in autumn (the week before my moon), rest and alone time during winter (my menstruation time)
* Consciously asking myself what I can do during the day, how my energy is, and what I feel up for doing…
Tuning In To Flow
And I have to say honestly that these practices are easier for me to integrate here in Peru than in the Netherlands. When I was there pretty quickly I was getting distracted by noise and movements around me. I feel there is a lot of movement there in our vicinity; literally and energetically…
I acknowledge that with ease of integration for some things, I am noticing as well that some conditionings are following me here in Peru… For example when we are fully present, involved in the project, real time, it’s difficult for me to keep on checking in with myself because I feel a lot of responsibility and things needs to be done, so really listening to and honouring my own needs can be challenging in those moments. However, the natural, raw flow around me here helps me to remember to have patience and go with the flow. I observe in essence that in energy work we cannot plan; we flow with what is coming up…
Stay tuned for part 2 of my integration story where I will share more on the energy layers perceived in our vicinity…
