During pregnancy we are opening ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually to receive and to bring a child here to the earthly realm.
For a woman that’s a huge initiation and the opening on all these layers is inviting us to go deeper. Deeper within ourselves and our ancestral lines… We as women store energy, experiences and also traumas in our womb… so the opening and growing of our womb is inviting us to be with these energies, to see and hear them, to transform and transmute them so we are able to free our children; the future generations. A lot can come up… from our inner child and maiden within and from the mothers and grandmothers within, who walked before us.
Intention and preparation
Pregnancy starts in a sense when you set the intention and open yourself to having children. I feel every moon (menstruation) cycle is a ceremony and I felt my hormones preparing me for being a mother. The hormones can be strong and very unpleasant, however they are there to prepare us and to show us what needs our attention. I learned a lot through listening to my emotions during my Moon time and that continued profoundly during my pregnancy… The hormone journey continues, increasing significantly during pregnancy.
I feel pregnancy, in the sense of continuously birthing yourself, learning and growing, continues in the first months when your baby is here and to some extent years afterwards (I still have that to experience though).
Looking back over my own journey, when the intention to have a child got more and more rooted, my preparation also came in more depth…
Connection with the little soul I had 2 years ago in the mountains here in Peru and from there the work with my inner child also came into my path. During the journey with my inner child teacher, preparing for motherhood came up a lot. It was beautiful, yet sometimes very challenging and confrontational. It was profound work, as in my point of view, our inner child is the bridge to our parents, ancestors and spiritual connections. I got more and more insight into the baggage I was carrying, which had roots deeply held in my ancestral lineage. I noticed so clearly that when I do my personal work, it has an influence on the past; on my ancestral lineage, as well as for the future, and the future generations… I am paving the road freer, lighter, for my child, who at that time was close to arriving…
I began to receive more frequent messages from the little soul, in different forms, especially in the connection with Nature around me.
In 2020 I did a womb clearing breathwork retreat which was really powerful. Following that, my husband Jhon and I went into a Plant Medicine diet (dieta).
I was connecting with Mother Rose and Jhon with Wachuma. My intention was to prepare myself for Motherhood. During the dieta I got messages that the little soul was very close…and in the closing ceremony with Mother Ayahuasca I felt clearly that I was pregnant and so it was… We were both super grateful.
Pregnancy and the Inner journey
The inner work during my pregnancy was profound; particularly working through the multiple layers (physically, emotionally and spiritually). My inner child and maiden within were in need of attention, lots of old insecurities and experiences came to the surface again for deeper healing. Through inner child work, messages from my ancestors also came through… especially from my mother’s lineage. My grandmother was very present, and some of her traumas she was not able to heal when she was alive, came through me.
The work with my inner child and clearing rituals were beautiful tools to heal my feminine lineage. I did the work with so much love and presence, even though it was tough sometimes. However, I found it magical to feel and see all the energetical connections in my lineage. What emerged was a huge web of energetical connections which made more and more sense… One example is the abortion I had when I was 19. It rose to the surface and became clear I still needed to give that event attention and love… it was important to honor the little soul who wanted to come through me at that time, to give her a name and to acknowledge her as my first child. Through this, the loss of a child from my grandmother came through. I felt that in my body. I healed those life events for me and my grandmother through a beautiful and powerful ritual.
Final thoughts...
In a sense we have also been in the womb of our grandmothers… we were eggs growing in the ovaries of our mothers, in the womb of our grandmothers. On that note, I bring this chapter to a close. I intend to share more, writing about my natural home birth and postpartum.
Finishing on a reflective highlight; pregnancy is beautiful, magical and can be very challenging. A support team in these times is super important. I am extremely grateful for the support I had from my husband, our midwife and doula, my family, my mother, soul sisters from around the world and our Maestros.
I already felt during my physical pregnancy I would love to support other women on this journey. I feel inner child work is a beautiful tool during this profound initiation from maiden to mother, continuing in the later stages of conscious parenting.
I am here, with an open heart and presence…
Ready to continue sharing, learning and growing together.
With love,
Janneke
